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I would like to open a business bank account. In fact I’d like to leave my current bank altogether (before they collapse under me) so I’ve been checking out the market. My current preference is for HSBC – for two main reasons.  First, they have branches in both France and the UK; this suits me because ideally I’d be able to somehow merge my UK and French accounts, or at least have them both at the same bank. And second, a very canny entrepreneur I used to work for banked with them. I figure even if I don’t know what I’m doing, he definitely did.

Only problems, no solutions

However, after taking a look around their website, I only see problems not solutions. In terms of general banking, they have so many different accounts to choose from, I don’t know which one might suit me best – in fact so far, none of them look to be a good fit. Not least because I’m very opposed to the idea of paying a bank to run my account when they are already profiting on the money I have with them.

Business banking for tiny little businesses?


Then, I took a look at the business banking offerings – and had a bit of a giggle. Of the three options, the super-duper version is for businesses with turnover in excess of £25 million. Then they have the bells-on version if your turnover is £2-£25 million. And the bog-standard (small business banking) version is if your turnover is up to £2 million. That would be me! Technically, I suppose anything less than £2 million qualifies, but I’m not sure my £20k turnover is what they have in mind. Guess that’ll have to wait then.